Visiting Teaching . . . Again?

Visiting teaching is hard, isn’t it? It seems that the month zooms by and suddenly there are only two days left. You might worry, “Will Sister Sorenson notice that I’m calling on the 29th, and will she notice the edge of persuasion in my voice when I ask her, quite firmly, if I can stop by tomorrow?”

What is it about visiting teaching deadlines? Why do we operate on a 30-day cycle? Are we saleswomen trying to achieve our monthly sales quota? Why are there visiting teaching coordinators who bug us the first week of the following month and ask for our report? Have you ever said, “Sure, I visited with her . . .” then mumbled, “for 10 seconds in the church hallway”?

What’s the big deal? Miss a few days, miss a few weeks, a month or two. You see the sisters you visit teach around the neighborhood. They have a smile on their face at church. So everything is fine, right? Besides, you don’t have time for visiting teachers to come to your house, so you’re pretty sure that your assigned sisters feel the same way.

For several years, I visit taught the same woman, although I’d gone through three different partners. We’d become good friends, and our appointments lasted at least an hour as we each caught up on our lives. Once in awhile, when I’d show up she wouldn’t be there. So if rescheduling didn’t work, I’d drop off a plant with a note, or a treat. Without an active partner, it became harder to stay accountable. Then one time I set up an appointment and forgot to go. She called me an hour after the set time and asked if I was coming. I apologized and said I could come right over, but she had to leave.

The next couple of weeks sped past and one day she called me. We chatted for a few minutes and then she became emotional. Some kids had at school had been giving her daughter a hard time. She really needed someone to talk to about it because she didn’t know how to deal with it or how to counsel her daughter. When we hung up from the conversation, I felt sad. Not just about her daughter, but because the one month I had missed was the one month that she needed me the most.

I started to see the wisdom of the monthly appointments. They aren’t meant to bog down our life. They are meant to develop friendships and relationships of trust. They are meant to teach us service—not at our convenience, but within the guidelines that the Lord has sent forth.

Visiting teaching is a great responsibility. We are bringing the message of Christ to our sisters. We are forging friendships that will last into eternity. We are serving in the most important capacity that is possible—but most importantly, we are saving souls. We need to find the time. Service takes time, and despite our busy lives, it should be a priority.

In the words of Sheri Dew, “It is vital that we, the sisters of Relief Society, learn to hear the voice of the Lord . . . the Holy Ghost blesses us with optimism and wisdom at times of challenge that we simply cannot muster on our own. No wonder that one of the adversary's favorite tactics among righteous LDS women is busyness—getting us so preoccupied with the flurry of daily life that we fail to immerse ourselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sisters, we can't afford not to seek the things of the Spirit! There is too much at stake. Too many people are depending on us as mothers, as sisters, leaders, and friends.” (October 1998 General Relief Society Conference)

The women we have been called to visit teach need to know that they are our friends. That they can call us. That they can ask favors. That they know we will be happy to help. That they know we love them.

Marjorie P. Hinckley said, “Sisters, we are all in this together. We need each other . . . Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. These friendships are a necessary source of sustenance. We need to renew our faith every day. We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth.” (Glimpses, 254–255)